From My Heart to Theirs: A Mother's Fight for Strength and Purpose
As I sit here reflecting on my journey, I see the faces of my three children, each of them a reminder of why I’ve fought so hard. Motherhood is more than a role; it’s a calling that has tested every ounce of my strength and given me the greatest purpose in life. I’m Xai Lor—a mother, a two-time cancer survivor, and the owner of a martial arts school in Sacramento, California. This is my story, as a mother navigating life’s trials and triumphs.
Facing the Unthinkable
When I was first diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, my world stopped. As a single mother, I didn’t have the luxury of falling apart. My kids needed me, and I needed to be there for them. I remember sitting in the doctor’s office, hearing the diagnosis and thinking, How do I explain this to my children? But even as fear crept in, I made a promise to myself: I would fight with everything I had.
The treatments were grueling. There were days when the exhaustion was unbearable, but every morning I forced myself out of bed because three pairs of eyes were watching me. My children’s laughter, their hugs, and even the chaos of everyday life became my fuel.
Just when I thought I could breathe again, another diagnosis shattered my peace—metastatic colon cancer. This second battle was even harder, but my resolve deepened. My kids were my lifeline, my anchor in a storm that threatened to pull me under. “Mommy’s strong,” I would tell them, even on days when I didn’t feel it myself.
Finding Strength in Passion
Amid these battles, I found an outlet that gave me not just strength but purpose: martial arts. What started as a way to stay active during recovery became a passion that transformed my life. Opening my martial arts school was more than a business venture; it was a way to teach my children and my community the values I was clinging to—resilience, discipline, and self-confidence.
At first, balancing motherhood, my health, and a growing business seemed impossible. There were moments when I thought, Why am I doing this? But every time I saw my children’s pride when they watched me teach a class, I remembered my “why.” My kids have grown up seeing me face challenges head-on, and I hope that’s a lesson they carry with them forever.
Lessons from Motherhood
Motherhood has been my greatest teacher. My children have taught me what it means to love unconditionally, to persevere through unimaginable pain, and to celebrate the small victories. They remind me daily that strength doesn’t mean never falling; it means getting back up, no matter how many times life knocks you down.
There have been countless nights when I’ve cried myself to sleep, worried about what the future holds. But then I hear my youngest call me “Super Mom,” or my oldest tell me how proud they are, and I know every struggle has been worth it.
A Message to Fellow Mothers
To all the mothers out there: I see you. I see your hard days, your moments of doubt, and the way you keep showing up for your kids. If there’s one thing my journey has taught me, it’s that we are so much stronger than we realize. Here are a few lessons that have carried me through:
Find Your “Why”: My children have been my unwavering motivation. Find what keeps you grounded and let it guide you through life’s toughest moments.
Embrace Resilience: Life will throw challenges your way, but every hurdle is an opportunity to grow. Remember, it’s not about avoiding the storm but learning to dance in the rain.
Lean on Your Community: Whether it’s friends, family, or others who share your journey, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Strength doesn’t mean doing it all alone.
Pursue Your Passions: My martial arts school has been a source of joy and purpose. Find something that ignites your spirit and make time for it, no matter how busy life gets.
Leaving a Legacy of Strength
My journey is far from over, but if there’s one thing I hope my children take away, it’s this: Life is hard, but we are harder. Strength isn’t about never breaking; it’s about how you put yourself back together.
To every mother facing her own battles, know this: You are not alone, and you are capable of incredible things. Our children don’t need us to be perfect; they need us to keep trying, to keep loving, and to keep fighting. For them, and for ourselves.
